Declining Betas.

I wish I had better news about my cycle. After spotting/bleeding 8dp5dt, all the bleeding stopped. I had my first beta at 9dp5dt, and it was 297. Then 2nd beta at 13dp5dt was 1557. They were very happy with that doubling time and number. Third beta was at 16dp5dt or 5 weeks pregnant. It was 3121. This was a doubling time of ~72 hours, so slowing, but within their desired range. At 5w1d, my husband and I were out of town for the evening (only an hour away), just to try and enjoy some of the waiting until first ultrasound at 6w3d. At about 6pm, I started feeling sharp cramps. Thought it might be my stomach, so I went to the bathroom to see a gush of red blood. It soaked through my pants. Throughout the night I had more red bleeding with some clots.

I called the on-call Dr. at my RE who said, lie down, drink fluids, and come in Monday morning to check things out. Monday was 5w3d. The ultrasound showed 1 gestational sac with no sign of a bleed. The sac measured at 5w1d, so within range. Then my beta came back at 1900. The nurse told me to discontinue all my meds, as the pregnancy was non-viable. I asked for a repeat beta in two days, at 5w5d, just to be sure. That will be tomorrow. I am continuing my meds just in case. I’m not sure if they will want me to do a D&C, misoprostol again, or wait for natural miscarriage.

To say my husband and I are devastated is an understatement. These were genetically tested embryos. This loss is at the exact same time as both of my others, which were at ~5w3d and ~5w5d. My body is apparently consistent and efficient at killing off 5 week old embryos, even though this time I did intralipids and have been on Lovenox. We meet with the Dr. next week for our WTF appointment. I am not sure what he will advise. My husband and I have started talking about Plan C, D, and E, which include gestational surrogacy, adoption, and living child-free. Ideally, we would try a surrogate, since we have remaining PGS embryos. However, we are not celebrities, so without a friend of family member to volunteer, we’d need to borrow at least half of the required $100,000. The risk of borrowing $50,000 or more and spending all of our savings and potentially not ending up with a baby seems terrifying. Adoption is always on the table, but not as cheap and easy as well wishers make it seem. You should “just adopt” is a lot easier said than done.

For now I guess we wait, think, grieve, and try to heal.


3 thoughts on “Declining Betas.

  1. So sorry to hear have you considered international adoption…Jamaica per say we have so many teenaged pregnancies and I believe going thru the right and legal channels an adoption can be arranged

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