One step forward…

To be honest, it’s more like zero steps forward, two step back. I went to the Dr. this morning after a week of completing the following old wives tales to increase uterine lining thickness: eat walnuts, drink whole milk, increase vitamin E intake, do yoga, knock boots, sleep with socks on. My lining went from a 7.2mm to a whopping… 6.2mm. That’s right, it got 1mm thinner. The nurse said that the means of measuring it is subjective, so if I haven’t had any bleeding (I haven’t), then it’s likely close to the same.

She also changed her tune from last week, which was ‘in one week, we’ll either cancel or move ahead’. Now she said, it can take up to 8 weeks of estrogen therapy and you’ve only had 3. So now, I’m off the patches and starting 2mg of vaginal estrace per day. Based on the interwebs, this seems like a pretty low dose, but I guess I should go with the Dr. and not Dr. Google. I return next Wednesday for another ultrasound and I’m not super optimistic. Seems like getting thinner instead of thicker is kind of a harbinger of doom. I had kind of a freak out in the Dr.’s office, and told the nurse I wanted to stop the cycle and never try anything again. I’m sure they’re used to freak outs, but I feel like my constant state in that office now is a sobbing mess. I also called in sick after the appointment and went home to take a nap. After 3 more hours of sleep, I decided to brave the workplace since I only have 20 vacation hours left until January 2014.

I’m less than psyched about  this wait and see game, as it is basically a form of torture to my type A, control freak personality. The kicker is – it’s all of this drama to even potentially try to thaw out and transfer some embryos. Never you mind the large chance that the transfer won’t even work anyway. As a big F-you to this whole process, I had an iced chai latte today (first caffeine in 2 months) and it was delicious.

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