You’ll Know When You’re Ready.

That’s what everyone told me. I would know when I was ready to try again. I think that’s just something people say. I have no idea if I’m ready. I went to the Dr. last week for the 1st appointment for this cycle and starting crying while waiting for my ultrasound. The reason? Who knows… fear, anxiety, memories, all of the above. My blood pressure was slightly high at the office too, which I guess is the least shocking thing ever.

I started the estrogen patches. I just finished ramping up from 1 to 4. The name brand ones are much smaller and thinner, so that’s a nice change, but with 4 patches and numerous bruises and stab wounds, my stomach is starting to look pretty abused. Now I am just supposed to keep on keeping on with Lupron and the 4 patches until my appointment next Wednesday.

I also went back to acupuncture last week. I’m not sure if I’ll keep it up this cycle. The acupuncturist was really judgy about me not doing treatment through my whole ill-fated pregnancy. She really made me feel like it was my fault for losing the pregnancy. Guess what lady, I’m taking more drugs than you can find in most pharmacies and seeing the most successful RE in the area – not sure that once weekly acupuncture could have salvaged the situation. Acupuncture is also really expensive – $85 a pop – so I’m still on the fence. She told me ‘I definitely need to go weekly until at least 12 weeks’. That would be a whole lot of dough.

On a related note, DH and I spent most of the weekend with his family for his grandfather’s funeral. His cousin has a 21 month-old, and our nephew is 6 months, so it was pretty baby-heavy. All told, it wasn’t as bad as I had been expecting. No one even asked why I wasn’t drinking. Small victories, people.




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