So this thing I do sometimes is Google ‘IVF Blogs’ or ‘IVF Miscarriage’ and go on a blog-reading journey. Nine times out of ten the blogs are old, and the blogger has had a child. I can’t decide if this makes me feel better or worse. A lot of the time they got pregnant on their first try (so I feel worse) or they took three or four tries (better? worse?). What I’m really looking for is that elusive person that got pregnant from the first IVF, had an early loss, and then had a baby from the first FET (even though they ‘knew’ they wouldn’t). Does this person exist? Statistically they have to, right?
I can’t imagine going through all of this in a time before the internet. Even though my friends and family are supportive, it helps to know that there are women out there in the ether that have the exact same situations and feelings that I have. On the flip side, the availability of Google causes me (and countless other IVF-ers) to Google the crap out of every symptom, protocol, medication, etc., which can be panic-inducing. I think the net effect is positive, but just wanted to acknowledge the negative side as well. Even though it helps to read other women’s stories, it also makes me sad that so many people go through this. It seems like the ‘simple’ act of procreation shouldn’t cause pages and pages of angst-ridden blog posts. Not sure where I’m going with this exactly – just hoping that someday my wallowing blog posts will help someone else in this situation.