Anxious.

I have been feeling really anxious the last few days – not sleeping well, feeling distracted, etc. I’m not sure why exactly. I think it has something to do with my sister-in-law’s due date being tomorrow. When we first found out that she was pregnant, I took the news really hard. Like, laying on the bathroom floor crying… not talking to her for months, hard. We’d already been trying for almost a year, and knew we had issues. As some consolation, I told myself I’d definitely be pregnant by the time she had the baby. There were still 7 months left before she was due. No way we could work with an RE for 7 months and not get pregnant. Here we are 7 months later. Not pregnant. Not even trying right now. I’m definitely sad about it. I know that setting arbitrary deadlines for getting pregnant is a recipe for disappointment, but I thought this was a safe deadline to set. It’s really hard to wish other people well and simultaneously covet what they have. I’m sure we’ll like being an aunt and uncle – it may just take some time for me to feel better about it.

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