Not pregnant – Again.

Well, it’s official, not pregnant. Not gonna lie, I’m pretty heartbroken. I always tell people that I don’t have my hopes up, but I really did this time. Everything seemed to go right, 2 good follicles, thick lining, good total motile count. We even tried on our own the 2 days following the IUI – a time when you really don’t want to be doing that. I just called the Dr. to report and they asked if I wanted to come in to start another injectible cycle. I told them no. The plan has always been 3 IUIs and then IVF. Now that it’s here I can’t really believe it.

Besides sadness, the biggest thing I feel today is fear. IVF is the last line of defense. Once that fails, modern science hasn’t been able to help you. I know they can tweak the meds or change a few things around, but IVF is really the big guns.

Our plan was to take a little break and go on a trip in March. The nurse told me that if I started the IVF protocol this week, I could be having the egg retrieval as soon as February 19th. If we wait until after this proposed trip, it won’t be until the end of April. I think our original plan is a good one – rationally I need a break, and I’m sure my husband does too. However, in this moment, the idea of moving forward that quickly seems appealing. I need to regroup and discuss everything with the husband – and decide where to go from here.

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